#navbar-iframe { display: none !important;} The Naked Page: A Reputation to Uphold

The Naked Page

Author Jamie Sobrato's Diary

1.10.2006

A Reputation to Uphold

So I've killed the blog with my octopus testicles story? I'm feeling the pressure now. I have a reputation for lewdness to uphold, and I've gone and bored everyone to sleep with my little octopus anecdote.

Okay, so what does it take to wake up the girls on The Naked Page? Conversations about men, sex, and panties seem to be the big winners here. Or really, anything controversial, like Brad Pitt dumping Jen.

I was just thinking about the whole Angelina Jolie thing and how some writer friends of mine said they'd rather sleep with her than Brad. I thought that was pretty open-minded of them, and after I thought about it for a while I realized I'd have to agree.

So. This begs the question, if you were a lesbian, or just wanted to experiment a bit, who would you want to sleep with? (And no, you don't have to pick a lesbian star...unless you want to.)

My answer? Hmm... I've always had a thing for Selma Hayek. Though, um, since she played Frida Kahlo, I have to admit the unibrow kind of killed my lust a bit (note to starlets: if you're going to do a quality role, you still have to say NO to the unibrow).

Another option would be the red-headed chick on That Seventies Show, Laura Prepon. I was horrified to see that she dyed her hair blond, but in her natural color she's pretty hot. You know, for a girl.

50 Comments:

At 10:19 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I have a hard time saying I could sleep with a woman. I don't have anything against gay people, but I just don't have the urge. I look at Angelina and think, "yeah she's hot," but I still don't want to sleep with her. I guess I'd rather have Brad.

I have a friend who say's she'd bat for the other team for Elizabeth Hurley, but still I'm not sold.

I wouldn't mind looking like Angelina though.

 
At 8:25 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

LOL, Theresa, no one is actually going to MAKE you sleep with the person you choose! It's just a dumb exercise in shallowness (AKA pointing out pretty people).

 
At 10:29 AM, Anonymous Theresa said...

(AKA pointing out pretty people).

Oh, in that case......
Angelina Jolie.... well, that goes without saying.
Charlize Theron pretty gorgeous too.
My husband has a thing for Marishka Hargitay (Law & Order Svu) but if I were to go for a TV hottie, Marg Helgenburger (CSI) stands out to me. (I guess she would be my TV redhead instead of Laura Prepon).

I'm sure I'll think of more later....

 
At 1:12 PM, Anonymous No one in Particular said...

I just read that Angelina Jolie is PG with Brad's love-baby. Jamie, you want to take advantage of a pregnant woman?

All lips considered, I'd rather have Brad. I think AJ is gorgeous and, considering her humanitarian efforts, she appears to be a remarkable human being. I'd love to talk up a storm with her, but otherwise it's the Pittster all the way. AJ appeals to me on an intellectual level, but I like disheveled men....

 
At 2:53 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

How about Sharon Stone from the days of Basic Instinct?

 
At 6:17 PM, Anonymous melissa said...

This whole conversation is disturbing. When I think of seeing a naked woman in a scenario outside of a locker room, my skin gets all creepy-crawly. LOL

As far as celebrities, I have a thing for Usher. But just his music. And his chest. I hear he's a real playboy so I wouldn't touch that, but I can look, right??

 
At 6:52 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Lee votes for Jennifer Aniston. Oh wait he has a whole list. He really likes this topic . . .In fact I think he is visualizing because his sentences begin with, you would look good with. . .
Men

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

no one in particular, Brad doesn't get to qualify as consistently disheveled. He does the clean cut look sometimes, which makes him look like a boy scout.

And since I know pregnancy is one of those super-horny times of life, yes, I would totally take advantage of a pregnant woman. Well, during the second trimester when she'd appreciate it, anyway. And besides, pregnancy is one of those rare times when women walk around looking all ripe, like fruit waiting to be picked.

 
At 8:45 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Melissa, you broke the rules. You cannot choose Usher. He's a GUY, damn it.

 
At 8:46 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Wow, I never would have pegged Lee as a Jennifer Aniston guy. I mean, she's kind of squeaky clean and girl-next-doorish. Who knew!

 
At 8:48 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Bethany, I agree Sharon Stone once had a very dirty kind of appeal. Lately though, the plastic surgery has run amok.

 
At 8:53 PM, Anonymous pregnant woman in second trimester said...

The only produce I resemble right now is an eggplant. Eggplants don't get horny, and certainly not super-horny. They just stare wistfully at the bananas and hope to maintain that shape again at some point in the near future.

You know, if I didn't know better, I'd read Jamie's second paragraph up there and think she was a man...who would most certainly NOT get any after calling me ripe like a fruit waiting to be picked.

 
At 8:57 PM, Anonymous melissa said...

You know, "ripe" is one of those words that belong in the romance novel garbage bin. Right next to "nether lips".

 
At 8:58 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Okay Ms Eggplant, that's really kind of sad that you are longing to have a banana shape. LOL.

Okay, it IS possible that I think too much like a man sometimes (that's what happens when you write a bunch of books told half from the male point of view), but I don't see what's wrong with the fruit comment. And I could have had an orgasm from getting near the vibrating washing machine during my second trimesters.

 
At 9:00 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Ripe? Purple prose? No way. Everyone else needs to weigh in on this! I could be deluding myself.

 
At 9:00 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Oh, WAIT, Eggplant, NOW I get why you are longing for the bananas... It's all becoming very clear to me.

 
At 9:22 PM, Anonymous No one in Particular said...

Yes, I know BP isn't consistently disheveled. I was speaking in generalities. I would prefer he shower first, just be unshaven and NOT have his hair bleached. Now, if we're speaking disheveled, Colin Farrell is quite disheveled, but :::blech::: does nothing for me thanks to his press, although I love his acting.

So I guess I'm fickle!

 
At 9:24 PM, Anonymous no one... said...

And I totally agree with you about 2nd semesters, Jamie!

 
At 9:30 PM, Anonymous melissa ripefruit said...

All right, anyone who calls me Eggplant again is going to earn the nickname Washing Machine for the rest of her life.

And pass me some of your hormones. Doing laundry has no such effect on me. Not fair!

 
At 10:23 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

4-6 months pregnant was the horniest I've ever been in my life. My husband couldn't even keep up... and that's saying something!

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger Rich said...

Hey we're getting off topic here. This was a really hot topic. No more talk of pregnancy or men please.

 
At 1:15 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Lee says I think like a man, too. Especially in regards to crap like cuddling. Cuddling is a nice thing after sex, but if there's no sex, and there isn't going to be for whatever reason, what's the point?

 
At 1:57 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Okay, I totally understand what you are looking for. There are certain actresses that you think, 'I would like to look like her' or 'she's really pretty' and there are a few who are actually hot and who you feel a weird sort of attraction to.

Like Uma Thurman. And I haven't any aversion to the girl from That 70's show. . .

 
At 3:56 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Oh, right, Uma Thurman! What is it about her that's so appealing? She just is.

 
At 3:57 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Oh, and Rich, you totally missed an opportunity to be all enlightened and actually agree with me about the pregnant women thing...such a GUY.

 
At 3:58 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, I'm sure your husband was thrilled to try and keep UP with you during those grueling second-trimester months. Heh.

 
At 4:12 PM, Anonymous theresa said...

Theresa, I'm sure your husband was thrilled to try and keep UP with you during those grueling second-trimester months. Heh.

One would think so, but he's one of those guys who oddly enough isn't hugely attractd to the pregnant body. He tried to hide it, but the hormones do make a girl a tad bit over-sensitive. Frankly, the poor guy didn't stand a chance.

I think Kate Beckinsdale is hot. My husband also agree's with me.

What about the anti-hotness factor of Katie Holmes since she hooked up with Tom Cruise? _shudder_ They both give me the willies.

 
At 5:15 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

I've never seen anything with Katie Holmes in it, but I didn't think much of her before the icky Tom Cruise thing, cute just doesn't do it for me.

 
At 5:21 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

I've been thinking about this at the grocery. Here are my levels of woman appreciation

Jennifer Aniston- wow she looks great in that outfit, I wish I looked like that and had that outfit. . .

Cate Blanchet. Super talented, gorgeous but just general admiration of a great actress.

Sharon Stone- hey, somebody needs to move Michael Douglass' butt out of the screen because for some reason I want to see her naked some more. . . (10-15 years ago, of course)

I don't think I've seen anything with Kate Beckinsdale but Lee says she is hott and she probably falls into category 3. . .

 
At 5:23 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

OMG did I just say hott? WTF is wrong with me, hanging head in shame, has been with 8th graders waaaaaay too long.

 
At 7:18 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I never thought Katie Holmes was all that great looking, but ever since she's been with Tom Cruise, her appeal has definately lessened. I guess my point is that she went from someone who was thought to be cute by some, to just plain weird and easily manipulated.

Sometimes the people famous people hook up with makes a difference in how you see them. I always thought Jennifer Anniston was kind of plain, but once she married Brad Pitt, she seemed a lot more attractive. Maybe it's because she smiled a lot when they were together, at least at first. :\

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Jennifer Aniston went from having a normal-thin body early in her career to being super-skinny with Brad. And her hair went from being "cute" and a bit overstyled before Brad to being all hair-extensioned out, long and sexy, during the Brad years.

I like her figure a lot, and I wish I could afford her hair stylist sometimes, but I am not particularly attracted to her overall.

 
At 7:38 PM, Blogger Rich said...

Awe honey, I am a guy. I didn't even read the pregnancy posts. I did now and boy do I remember the second trimesters...very well. Ripe is probably the operative word.

And now back to the main topic. No takers on Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts?

 
At 7:39 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Hey, Bethany can join me in rolling her eyes over our hometown claim to fame, that Tom Cruise went to St Xavier high school in Louisville. And now he has shamed the city with his weirdness.

Oh well, we still have Sue Grafton.

 
At 7:41 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Sandra Bullock? Bleh. Girl next door is just...bleh.

Julia Roberts is a bit too equine for my taste.

 
At 7:42 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

I could do Jennifer Lopez, even with her recent demonstrations of extreme bad taste.

 
At 7:43 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Bethany, we will not even touch that "hott" thing. Sometimes I'm glad to be far removed from adolescents.

And your levels of attractiveness chart is a good idea. We may need to formalize it a bit more, give each level a clearer definition

 
At 7:46 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Rich, any more acting like a real guy and you will be banished to the octopus testicles thread, where you can talk to yourself.

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

...or talk to the testicles, whichever you prefer.

 
At 8:02 PM, Anonymous melissa said...

Okay Bad Husband, just because you used the word ripe, I will NOT tell you which celebrity woman I would bang. If I'd bang a woman. Which I wouldn't.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go listen to my Usher CD.

 
At 10:42 PM, Blogger Rich said...

Octopus testacles? Oh, the pain, the pain. I shall gracefully bow out with foot fully lodged in mouth.

Bad Husband? That sounds like a new thread involving leather....OK, OK, I'm leaving already.

 
At 11:54 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I don't know who Rich is, but I think I like him. ;)

Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts are way over-rated in my book. Equine is a good word for Julia..

JLo, sexy, but not my thing (as if any woman is). This is actually hard, I could name men all day, but my list of women runs out quickly.

Ok ok, I'll try again.
Shania Twain's pretty gorgeous, isn't she?

 
At 12:59 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Um Rich, I think you're just going to have to think Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock together, we're not going for them. They have to go hang out with Katie Holmes on the Girls next door list.

 
At 1:26 PM, Anonymous Sherry said...

Ooooh, bad husband and leather...

I learned after years of listening to "wow, she's hot" or "I think she is a beautiful or sexy woman" that from my husband's perspective he usually didn't look at the face or the overall package of the women he was speaking about.

This came to light recently about Kelly Monaco (hubby's fav soap star). Her pics in Playboy were not what he expected - "that's not her" was exclaimed - I put my hand over her face in the picture, so he could figure it out. He felt better once he learned the pics were a rerun from several years ago.

Now using this theory, if I were to list my favs, they would include Kelly Monaco, Lisa Rena (sans the lip issue - there has always been something earthy sensual about her that I liked back when she was on the soaps - gotta air-brush her lips in the mental image) and Giada De Laurentiis (FoodTV).

Now about the leather issue - bondage, romance, husbands, hot sexy ladies - that gets the mind a going! I definitely can see some topics for upcoming books getting started here.

BTW - I was very impressed to find out Sue Grafton owned a home in the Louisville area - I was floored to find out she lived there most of the year. Local magazine had a big article about famous people in Louisville a few years back.

 
At 5:34 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Speaking of fantasies (though no leather or girl on girl stuff) did you see who was hosting the academy awards? (Jon Stewart) I told you he was hot! Not hott! one t only.

 
At 9:15 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Sue Grafton grew up in Louisville, I believe, and she now owns homes there and near Santa Barbara, and she goes between the two places. Tough life!

 
At 1:04 PM, Anonymous Cindy Procter-King said...

Jamie,

You mentioned the girl from That Seventies Show, Laura Prepon. This morning I noticed on my provider's home page that she's playing Karla Homolka, a notorious Cdn killer, in an about-to-be-released movie (in Canada, not sure about the States). That's why she must have dyed her hair blond. Karla is blond.

Totally off-topic, but apparently the movie portrays Karla Homolka as a victim of her husband, who's still in jail. But the horrible things she did to her own sister, I'm sorry, can't be explained away so easily. What was he, a hypnotist that she would participate in the rape and killing of her own sister for him? A sick individual, IMO.

Cindy

 
At 2:10 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Totally off-topic, but apparently the movie portrays Karla Homolka as a victim of her husband, who's still in jail. But the horrible things she did to her own sister, I'm sorry, can't be explained away so easily. What was he, a hypnotist that she would participate in the rape and killing of her own sister for him? A sick individual, IMO.

I saw a biography about Homolka a couple of years ago, and I don't buy Karla-as-a-vicitim at all. She's a sick puppy who probably got off on all the stuff they did. Is Karla out of prison? If so, the Canadian justice system is even more out of whack than ours.

 
At 4:28 PM, Anonymous Cindy Procter-King said...

Yes, she's out and has been for several months. She made a deal before she went in--dirt on the husband in exchange for only getting 12 years, which she's served (he's in for the next millenium as a result). There's been a huge controversy in Canada over banning this movie, but I guess it hasn't happened.

Cindy

 
At 5:17 PM, Anonymous i'd do said...

winona ryder, emilia fox and jessica alba....discuss ;0)

 

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