#navbar-iframe { display: none !important;} The Naked Page: The Jaded Shaft

The Naked Page

Author Jamie Sobrato's Diary

12.03.2005

The Jaded Shaft

This whole discussion on the last thread about "the jaded shaft" is getting out of hand! Now I've got this detailed image of it in my head, complete with jewels and everything. And there's even an Indiana Jones-inspired plot with many people racing to get their hands on the coveted jaded shaft.

For those of you too lazy to go back and read The Six-Inch Sirloin's comments, you just need to know that my mom thought "the jaded shaft" was a pretty bad way to descibe a guy's cock (it's not every day you get to use the words "mom" and "cock" in the same sentence...and how many people would even dare?). It was, basically, some baaaaaaad purple prose she read in an old romance novel.

But now it's spun into a whole story idea. Which makes me think about how I come up with my jaded sha--er, I mean, my story ideas. I do often start with a title I like the sound of and work from there. I do that more and more these days, since I'm much better at thinking up titles than I am at thinking up plots.

So how do you develop story ideas? Do you start with a character, a plot, an image, a title, or what? Do your ideas usually appear fully formed, or like me, do you not quite know what the hell the book is about until you're halfway through it?

Or, alternately, if that discussion is too boring, who should star in The Jaded Shaft movie? We're talking A-list actors here, people! Not porn stars.

140 Comments:

At 4:14 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Jude Law

 
At 6:37 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

You think Jude Law should star in everything.

 
At 6:57 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

My favorite hunky (can I say hunky and not sound too cliche?) guys of the moment are Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale. Yum.

 
At 7:15 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Jude Law HAS starred in everything for the last two years. I have lost all respect for him as an actor, thus he is perfect for the jaded shaft.

My favorite man right now is Jon Stewart. I stare at him every night and say, is it normal to think Jon Stewart is hot, and Lee says, you asked me that last night. But Jon Stewart could not play the Jaded Shaft, it would ruin my image of him forever.

 
At 8:10 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Hey well I think David Letterman is impossibly hot, and it's all because of his self-deprecating sense of humor. Well, and that gap in his teeth is bizarrely nice too. I have not watched Jon Stewart except maybe in passing. I will have to check him out.

 
At 8:14 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, who is Christian Bale?

I bizarrely do not have any particular actors I think are hot. I am however, after all these years, still hung up on Gary Oldman playing Brahm Stoker's Dracula. No, not the bubble-headed robe-wearing version of Dracula, but where he had long hair and looked all Bohemian. Prince Vlad. Mmmmmmmm. That was hot.

But Prince Vlad does not work for The Jaded Shaft. Maybe Gary Oldman could play one of the villains.

 
At 8:21 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

I'm still partially in love with Fox Mulder, but no, Duchuvney is no Jaded Shaft. It just has to be Jude. He's sleazy enough, and with his Brittish accent he could refer to his jaded shaft and not sound utterly lame. Jude, Jude, Jude!

 
At 8:24 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Christian Bale isn't that well known yet, but oddly I've known him for a long time. I remember watching "Empire of the Sun" (an old Spielberg film) when I was a teenager and he was the little kid who was the star of the movie.

He recently was the newest Batman in "Batman Begins," so you can see why he would appeal to me.

Hugh Jackman is equally appealing since he was in the X-Men movies. I'm goofy I know. But they are more typically gorgeous than David Letterman, or maybe I'm just not as evolved as you are to look for brains instead of beauty.

 
At 8:24 PM, Anonymous Lee said...

Johnny Depp should be the jaded shaft.

 
At 8:25 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Lee didn't really say that but he is thinking it.

 
At 8:25 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I loooove David Duchuvny, he fits right in with my sci-fi/fantasy list of men.

 
At 8:26 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I'm thinking too much about men I like as opposed to going for the sleaze factor. If I had to go for sleaze Colin Farrel would be my vote.

 
At 8:27 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Ooh, if it was the shaft's point of view David D would be perfect. He has that great sexy cynical voice.

 
At 8:30 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

David could pull it off don't you think? Who else could do it with a sense of humor and make you believe it?

 
At 8:50 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Matthew Perry can be the jaded shaft, with Matt LeBlanc and a monkey for his sidekicks. No David Schwimmer.

Who would be the j.s.'s love interest?

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Lee and I have the same taste in men. Tell Lee Johnny is not his type.

 
At 9:16 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Lee says he does not find Letterman attractive, though he does like the big headed dracula.

Why is Johnny not his type? You will crush him. He used to have lots of Trent Reznor posters, could Trent be the Jaded Shaft? He could also do the soundtrack.

 
At 9:18 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

I might kind of like Trent Reznor myself. He has that dark vibe. (NIN)

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, the very fact that Hugh Jackman played that wolf guy in the Xmen movie (or am I confusing him with someone else?), makes him seem icky to me. Though I don't think I ever much noticed him in the first place.

I really wasn't thinking of David Letterman as a character in the JS movie (hey, Jaded Shaft has the same initials as me?! Coincidence? I think not!).

I think The Rock should have a role in the movie, and he should have to play a gay man again, because he was brilliantly gay in Be Cool.

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Yes, please hook us up with Trent Resnor for the sound track. He could be Nine Inch Shaft instead of Nine Inch Nails.

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Lee really needs to get over his Edward Scissorhands fixation, is all I'm saying. Johnny is too petite for him. Johnny is MY type. Well, at least when he plays a pirate he is.

 
At 9:22 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Lee is attracted to the big-headed Dracula? That's just wrong.

 
At 9:23 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Umm, Correct me if I'm wrong, aren't I more petite than Johnny Depp? Apparently I am Lee's type.

Hugh Jackman actually lost me when he did that romantic comedy with Meg Ryan after X-men. Meg Ryan makes me want to puke.

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Bethany, we canNOT have a Friends Reunion Jaded Shaft movie. Don't even think about it.

Though I wouldn't mind Jennifer Aniston playing the love interest.

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Of course you are more petite than Johnny Depp, but I just meant, you know, for guy on guy stuff, they probably need to be of a similar height and...oh, forget it! Johnny Depp is NOT too petite for your husband then. There, are you happy now?

 
At 9:26 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Jaded Shaft's love interest... Are we operating on the assumption that Jaded Shaft is a person, or an archaological find? Or maybe his like a genie in a penis bottle. Rub the penis and he oozes out...

 
At 9:31 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Can everyone tell I'm not getting any work done? I should start posting as other people so I won't look so conspicuously like a procrastinator. I think I will be Jaded Shaft.

 
At 9:38 PM, Anonymous lee said...

I didn't really say that big headed Dracula thing.

 
At 9:53 PM, Anonymous Jaded Shaft said...

Since when did you start channeling your husband, Bethany?

js

 
At 9:55 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

I just have control of his thoughts
all except the johnny depp thing, can't access that edward scissorhands part of the brain.

 
At 10:02 PM, Anonymous Jaded Shaft said...

The scissors might have snipped off that part of the brain, making it inaccessible to you. It's just bobbing around in his head now thinking, Edward Scissorhands! I love Edward Scissorhands!

 
At 10:06 PM, Anonymous edward scissorhands said...

I come to Lee in his dreams.

--ES

 
At 10:07 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Sorry you aren't getting any work done. I have been sitting here online all day with earache baby. My other diversion was an ebay discussion board thread about whether a pair of Abercrombie jeans purchased new, but came with a free used tissue in the pocket were still NWT. I would post a link for you, but it got heated and profanity was used and it got pulled.

Is it any wonder I am so excited by the Jaded Shaft? Um maybe excited is the wrong word

 
At 10:10 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I can tell I'm not on the same wavelength when it comes to men. Johnny Depp is cool, but he always looks like he needs a shower to me.

I never saw the Meg Ryan/Hugh Jackman movie, so I don't have that image bouncing around in my head. Thank goodness.

I am glad to see I am not the only person who doesn't get the Meg Ryan is sooo cute thing.

 
At 10:13 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

You know, my husband has a strange fixation on Johnny Depp too, I think we own most of his movies. Edward Sissorhands is a big favorite of his too. What's the deal with that?

 
At 10:14 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Meg Ryan can only be in our movie if she is killed by a falling object. Uma Thurman can be in our movie, though.

 
At 10:14 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, yeah, I have admit, I like the greasy, scruffy thing. Heh. I'm a little weird.

I have no feelings particularly about Meg Ryan. I do think she's cute, but in a cryogenically preserved kind of way. I like her style, I guess, but I don't love her or hate her.

We seem awfully fixated on the male casting of Jaded Shaft. It can't be an all-male movie, people! There needs to be at least one woman, and definitely not Meg Ryan.

 
At 10:15 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

What's with Uma, anyway? She has a very weird appeal. Yes, I totally agree that she can be in the movie. She can play the female lead.

 
At 10:16 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

OMG, another Johnny Depp infatuation. I got to hear my husband trying to convince his brother that Johnny is the best actor alive or some such nonsense.

 
At 10:16 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I like Uma, any woman who can wield a Katana is ok by me. ;)

 
At 10:16 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Bethany, that's pretty gross about the used tissue pants. Eeeewwww. And who knew Ebay had discussion boards. I have to say that whole website is like the biggest time sink ever invented. Enter lives can get sucked up in it. I know a few years of mine have.

 
At 10:17 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

The man love some guys have for Johnny is just strange. I know my husband is hetero, but still....

 
At 10:18 PM, Anonymous jaded shaft said...

A Ka-what-a?

Whatever it is, she'd better not weild it near me.

js

 
At 10:19 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Man love! LOL, nice term Theresa. There definitely has to be some man love in the Jaded Shaft movie.

 
At 10:19 PM, Anonymous Martial arts freak said...

A Katana is the kind of sword she was wielding in Kill Bill.

 
At 10:20 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Hmmm, didn't know Jaded Shaft was going to have a gay angle, though you did mention The Rock. (whom I love by the way)

 
At 10:21 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Oh, okay. I kinda figured about the katana. But JS gets nervous when things start getting weilded around him. Am I the only one who hated Kill Bill 1 and 2? I used to love Tarantino, AND I love martial arts, but whew, he lost me on those. I'll be interested to hear your take, Theresa.

 
At 10:21 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

I like the fact that mine is confident enough to recognize that men (like Jon Stewart for example) are attractive. Or maybe it isn't confidence, perhaps it's the stupidity to say whatever pops into his head. He claims he is just a fan of Tim Burton movies

 
At 10:21 PM, Anonymous jaded shaft said...

Jaded Shaft goes both ways.

 
At 10:23 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Yes, Bethany, your husband does have a wonderful ability to feel comfortable with his guyhood without feeling threatened by things that aren't macho. And Johnny Depp.

 
At 10:23 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

No wonder the shaft is so jaded

 
At 10:23 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I liked the Kill Bill movies, they were campy so the violence wasn't as disturbing as I would have found it otherwise. But you have to remember who you're talking to. If the movie has martial arts in it, I'm probably going to like it.

 
At 10:24 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

My husband must be similar to Bethany's. He can also recognize another guy as attractive without feeling self-conscious or homophobic about it.

 
At 10:25 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

A bi-shaft?

 
At 10:25 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

so no jude law?
he did it with his kids nanny, he is probably pretty jaded, and his exwife was in dracula oooh six degrees to jude law anyone?

 
At 10:26 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I liked Sadie Frost in Dracula, she was the slutty one right? I thought she was a hell of a lot more fun than Wynona Ryder.

 
At 10:28 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

I do think Jude Law could play the lead. But is the lead Jaded Shaft?

Funny about husbands finding guys attractive--mine always gets it way off. On the occasions when he has ever said, well, isn't that guy attractive, I have invariably burst out laughing. Like for instance, he had this theory that women would vote for Al Gore based on his hottness. Ummmmm....

 
At 10:29 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Lee used to have a thing for Winona Ryder. Wasn't she engaged to Jonny Depp. I don't see what's so great about her. Nobody could screw that movie up worse that Keanu did.

Keanu can see the jaded shaft and sah "Whoa"

 
At 10:29 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Yep, Sadie Frost was the redhead in Dracula, I think. I actually think Winona Ryder was cool in the movie.

 
At 10:31 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Keanu can see the jaded shaft and sah "Whoa"

LOL

I guess the shaft should be impressive then.

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Keanu Reeves can play the other gay character. The Rock's bitch.

 
At 10:31 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Gotta admit, not big on Wynona Ryder. I think the stealing while rich kind of turned me off.

 
At 10:32 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

My sister in law is stalking Orlano Bloom, maybe she can talk him into being in the movie. Well Lee's sister in law. Like Orlando isn't too young for her.

I like Madeleine Stowe, can she be in the movie?

 
At 10:32 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

So Bethany, weren't you a Matrix fan? Did you like Keanu in that movie?

 
At 10:32 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Well, we can assume The Rock probably has an impressive shaft. I'd like to think so anyway.

 
At 10:33 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

The first Matrix was the only good one IMO.

 
At 10:33 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

I don't have any particular good feelings about Winona as a person. Just liked her in that one movie.

Yes, Madeline Stowe can be in it.

How does one go about stalking Orlando Bloom from Kentucky?

 
At 10:34 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Orlando Bloom is way cute, but young. _sigh_

I did marry a younger man though......

 
At 10:34 PM, Anonymous winona ryder said...

Yes, that was a perfect movie for him, as was Bill and Ted. Actually I would say the first matrix was a perfect movie, That does not make Keanu a good actor

 
At 10:36 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I actually thought Keanu did a credible job in the movie "Parenthood" but it's like he forgot how to act after that.

But if the Jaded Shaft is going to be pseudo porn, he'd be perfect.

 
At 10:36 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

He was in that stupid ass looking Elizethtown movie. Lee saw him on Bardstown Rd, and my cousin's wife met him. she was interning for actors theater or something. Janet hung out for hours and got to meet him and he kissed her. then she followed him around for like three more weeks. Err

 
At 10:37 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Keanu mostly just had to be straight-faced in The Matrix, right? And kind of look worried sometimes.

Theresa, how MUCH younger? Hmmmm?

 
At 10:38 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

We mostly go for older guys around here.

 
At 10:39 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

What the hell? Was Elizabethtown filmed in Kentucky? God I hope not the actual E-town...
And he KISSED Janet? When did this become Bizarro world?

 
At 10:40 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

My husband is only 3 years younger, which by my family's standards is nothing.

I'm 3rd generation older woman in my family, when I told my mom how old Sean was, she said "He's too old." She was just joking of course. But we have a couple of women in my family who have married men 20 years or so younger.

The great thing is all those marriages lasted.

 
At 10:41 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Yeah, it was filmed right here in Louisville. She kept trying to get Lee to go with her by trying to convince him that he was hot for Kiersten Dunst. He said that Orlando was really good looking, but not with that Johnny Depp sort of longing. I think he saw him two or three times, Orlando kept going to this leather store across from Lee's store

 
At 10:41 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Oh, don't get me wrong, I like older men. I dated a couple who were 8 or 10 years older. But my family motto is "if you can't find a good man, raise one."

Mine's not young enough for that, but it still works.

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Wow, that's pretty funny about the 20-years-younger men, Theresa. Like very How Stella Got Her Groove Back, which was one of my favorite books until I learned it was sorta based on the authors life and she later learned her "hero" was really gay. Sigh. I'm so disillusioned. But still, good book.

 
At 10:44 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

I had no idea it was filmed in Louisville. Now I will feel compelled to watch, even though I cannot stand Kirsten Dunst. She is the one actress who most makes me cringe. I had some dumb beauty magazine that had an interview with her, and her personality just came off so shallow and snarky that I have never liked her since.

 
At 10:45 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Oh well, I guess I'd better go get some real work done. No, really! I'm going to be screwed if I don't. Night girls!

 
At 10:45 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

But Ashton and Demi have kind of ruined the mystique for me. I don't know why, but that guy bugs me.

 
At 10:46 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Night Jamie.

 
At 2:55 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

Yeah, I don't get Ashton's appeal at all. Bad hair, for one thing, plus, I don't know. Just, eh.

Maybe Jaded Shaft would like him though.

 
At 12:15 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Gotta throw in a mention on Kirsten Dunst too. She was on celebrity Jeopardy once and I can't remember her ringing in virtually at all. She was a complete moron, and you know they give the celebrities the easy questions.

I also think she's totally over-rated.

I hope I'm not falling into the snarky category now.

 
At 2:43 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Since I lost track of the cast of the movie, and I think that our best idea was the jd salinger-esque telling with narration from the shaft's point of view by David Duchuvney, I will return to your original question.

I get complete ideas usually, whole concepts. However, I have not had a dozen books (or any books) published like some people. During the lazy time of my two nearly consecutive pregnancies I lay around and daydreamed all the time (since I was thinking of story ideas in between sleeping I considered this time well spent). I have way more ideas floating around than I can get to. That is not to say that they are good ideas.

Oh, and I was re-reading your previous topics, as the baby has again nodded off, and I must tell you, there is no underwear superior to boycut underwear. If anyone knows what kind Carrie wore on Sex and the City, kindly tell me, though I will never be able to afford it, I am sure. Boycut panties rule!

Off to launder baby socks!

 
At 3:04 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Well, since I too am dreaming of getting something published, I'm not sure I can really throw in any "how to write a story" anecdotes. But I am hopeful.

I have been inspired by Jamie to write something, so I'll at least give it a shot.

I have had an idea bouncing around in my head for literally a dozen years and have never forgotten it. I did try to start writing the overall story, but realized that I can't write about the characters without knowing them. So right now I am basically working on their backstory.

I've got about 20 pages on the 2 main characters and it seems to be working for me. I'm not currently writing dialogue, but just the past history and I like the feel I'm getting for the characters and the setting. I'm going to proceed this way because it seems comfortable. I have a feeling this is going to take me longer, but I think I'll have more depth to the story this way.

The only thing that confuses the issue by doing it this way, is that I'm not entirely sure where to start the story, but I think that will sort itself out later.

 
At 3:58 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, one piece of advice you could go with is to start the story the day something changes. That's sort of a rule of thumb. In other words, for your main character, there is his ordinary world, and then something happens that is a 'call to action' and he has to accept the call or refuse it, so to speak. You start the story where the conflict (call to action) starts, or something like that.

You could try googling "the hero's journey" and you should come up with some websites about classic story telling structure. Chris Vogler has a very popular book on the subject I believe called The Writer's Journey. It's a little too structured for me personally, but it's something good to refer to when you feel like something's missing in your story.

 
At 4:00 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, if it weren't for snark, I'd have nothing interesting to say, LOL. This is a blog--we're allowed to be snarky here! Actually I cannot pinpoint what turned me off exactly about KD's personality. I just tend to find the actresses who are very modest and self-effacing in interviews the most likeable ones. Renee Zellwegger comes to mind as someone totally likeable in interviews.

 
At 4:01 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Bethany you are way lucky to be able to just lie around and daydream of plots! I wish my brain would do that. But my brain is lazy and if I tell it to think of plots, it starts thinking of new outfits it wants or something.

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Interesting how it took us like 85 posts to tire of talking about men and actually say something serious...

 
At 5:30 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Bethany, are these the boy cut panties you want: http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=SG-178012&page=1&cgname=OSPTYBOYZZZ&rfnbr=1926

I have not actually tried them on, but www.victoriassecret.com has quite a few boy cut panties.

I think Carrie on SATC might actually have been wearing some real guys' underwear. I'll go try in my son's and see how they look...okay, I'm back now, and um, except for the picture of Spongebob Squarepants on the crotch--oh, who am I kidding, his underwear are way too small for me!

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Crap, the link didn't turn blue. Hmm, well, just go to Victoria's Secret, click on panties, click on boycut panties, and then click on the ones that most look like Jockeys, except in pink.

 
At 6:00 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Cool. I have lots of boycut, but some of them are kinda baggy. Lee is doing all of my Christmas shopping at Victoria's Secret. After these years of maternity wear followed by nursing bras, I am so ready for nice undergarments. Panties and hot guys, is this the best conversation ever, or what?

 
At 7:04 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

I don't have any panties like that. Do they have panty lines or are they low enough on the bottom that they don't show through?

I went through a major Victoria's Secret phase this time last year, when I was getting extremely tired of being a utilitarian, milk-producing, diaper changing object.

 
At 7:28 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

If they are well made they don't have a panty line- have to go far enough down the leg and have a low enough waist that they don't hang out of your pants. They are the best for sleeping in. The Victorias secret look like they meet above requirements.

Yes, I am ready to be sexy again (though Ezra was 14 months old when I got pregnant and Noel is 12 months tomorrow) can't be too sexy!

 
At 7:57 PM, Blogger jamiesobrato said...

Why can't you be too sexy? Because you'll be too exhausted? Yeah, that would be my guess.

Hey, damn it, now you've got me shopping for underwear instead of doing revisions. Thanks a bunch.

Happy birthday to Noel! Are you throwing a party?

 
At 8:12 PM, Anonymous melissa said...

I've been busy revising (we can't be so lazy when we don't have a contract yet--LOL just kidding Jamie :-), but I had to chime in here to say I LOVE those boycuts. I have some cheaper, more comfy ones, but I'm definitely getting some of those Victoria's next...October, when I'm un-preggo and thin again!

Bethany, wow, I waited until my son was 2 to get pregnant and I still feel like I didn't have enough sexy time in between. You deserve the fancy undies! :-)

Enlightening shaft convo, by the way. Sorry I couldn't participate, but you've filled my head with some frightening visuals.

I'm trying really hard to get this entry to 100 posts. Are we there yet?

 
At 8:30 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Hey Melissa, good for you keeping the nose to the grindstone. That's where mine should be, and as it is I guess I will not be sleeping much tonight. What is your self-imposed deadline for getting your revisions done?

I don't think we have quite reached that hallowed 100 milestone yet...

 
At 8:33 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

And I am sooooo out of the trendy underwear loop, not knowing how popular boycut panties are! I mean, really, I feel so 1992 or something.

In my defense, I am impossibly worried about panty lines. Yesterday I put on a kind of thin pair of jeans and noticed that the thong I was wearing under them created a PANTY LINE!!! The horror!!! Only the line was above the cheeks instead of below. And it wasn't like the panties were too tight or the jeans were too tight--it just showed. So now I'm all freaked out. It's a whole new fashion dilemma. I am definitely buying some boy cut panties now.

 
At 9:04 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I haven't checked out the boycut panties yet, so I'll have to get back on that.

As far as writing the story goes, the plot line isn't so much a problem. I have a very good idea of where I want the story to go. I just want to flesh out the characters before I continue.

I'm not sure I want to follow someone else's method. I tend to be one of those people who learn by doing. I get messed up and worry that I'm not doing something right when I do it someone else's way. I'm actually pretty good at getting stuff done when I put my mind to it, so I have faith I'll at the very least finish what I started.

 
At 9:06 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Ok, I officially love the boycut panties and I'm going to the mall asap.

 
At 9:12 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, I wasn't suggesting you needed to follow some specific plotting method. I thought you weren't sure where to start your story, as in, what event to start with, and so that Hero's Journey thing I mentioned just explains the call to action a little more thoroughly than I did. there is always a big danger in starting the story too far before the inciting incident (I've made that mistake before), so it's worth thinking hard about where the story actually starts.

 
At 9:19 PM, Anonymous melissa said...

Jamie, my self-imposed deadline is December 19. I was going to give myself until the end of the month, but I'm going out of town for Christmas and would love to have this shipped off before I leave. This is a partial so it shouldn't take me too long (I hope). That will be about a three-week turnaround from when I got the request.

 
At 9:44 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Jamie

Yeah, I can see what you mean about the inciting incident, but I feel like I have the right place to start. The problem I had was that I decided to make my novel in a fantasy setting, and there were too many details that needed to be fixed in my head first. I need to have the names of the places. I also am putting magic in the story so it has to have a believable framework. And so on.

There were just too many details I was trying to figure out as I went along and it was making it difficult to move forward without having to sit and sort through everything. I'm also adding a religious angle to the story, so I have to construct a believable theology as well.

I got about 25 pages into the story when I decided to go back and construct the background for the story before continuing. So I have about 50 pages total, which is 50 more than I had a month ago, so I feel ok about my progress.

But I do appreciate your help and willingness to give advice. Believe me, I may bug you at some later date when I get stumped on how to proceed.

 
At 10:02 PM, Blogger Nalini Singh said...

Oh man, Jamie, this is some blog you have going. I'm so confuzzled about Jaded Shafts and Jude Law that I have no idea what to post except er - hi? *g*

 
At 10:40 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Nalini! Hi! There is nothing you need to know about The Jaded Shaft except, everybody wants one. Or something like that!

And do you just have the prettiest name ever or what?! Nalini is a Silhouette Desire author, people. In case you don't already know her name. Which you should!

 
At 10:45 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Melissa, I have the same deadline as you and also have to leave on a trip at that time. Bleh!

Theresa, sounds very smart to get all those details worked out on paper. Bethany is the fantasy queen, I believe--big fantasy reader, I mean, not an Actual Queen with a tiara and fantasy maid costume. Well, she probably has that too, but let's don't go there. (Okay I know the tiara and the maid costume don't go together...)

 
At 11:25 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Bethany and I probably read a lot of the same authors. I have a pretty big fantasy collection. And didn't you say she wrote vampire novels in high school? If so, she probably reads a lot of the same stuff I do, so she can probably relate to what I'm talking about.

My daughter is the one who regularly wears the tiara around here.

Oh, and Jamie, to do a link on here, it's kind of a pain, but what you do is type in href=
and then you type in the web address in quotes like "jamiesobrato.com" and then you type rel="nofollow"


I would type in what the whole thing would look like, but it would just show the link. I'm hoping this will go through, but I'm not sure it will. Hopefully this post won't just look like a bunch of gibberish.

 
At 11:26 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I thought it would do that. It put the directions in blue and underline. If you want me to explain further, let me know.

 
At 11:28 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Oh oh oh. Before you type in the href= instructions I have above, you type in the html tag below the "leave your comment" section on this page. Use the tag with the a.

Have I completely confused you now?

 
At 12:58 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Did I put a complete end to all discussions with my totally confusing posts about how to do links?

Sorry.

I'm sitting here, actually doing a little writing. But I find myself looking for distractions. Bad Bad Bad.

Guess I'll go look at the boycut panties and then force myself to go back to work.

 
At 2:07 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

LOL, Theresa, you thread killer. No, really, I'm kidding. I had a deadline to meet this morning (which I did), and another to meet by tonight.

I think we may have just maxed out our ability to talk about panties and men. No, wait, what am I talking about--those are the two topics this blog gets most passionate about! I think it's just time for me to post a new thread, eh? But I need to get some more work done first, because sometimes doing a new blog post makes me feel all accomplished like I've done some real work, when I haven't.

Thanks for the instructions on links, BTW!

 
At 2:31 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Never wear a tiara with boycut panties? That is my wisdom for today. I've been with 8th graders all day.

 
At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

oh boy, Bethany teaches Junior High...

I subbed Junior High when I was getting my credential, and it was brutal. Give me second graders any day.

I think my husband would like the tiara with the boycut panties. But that's just him.

 
At 5:29 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Um, I adore 8th grade and middle schoolers, but I have been accused of being a masochist, so I guess it is an aquired taste.

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

I really think middle schoolers are great when you are not a sub. They're just at that age though where they know they can go wild when a sub is there, but with their own teachers they're still young enough to be sweet and obedient (sometimes!).

But Bethany knows much more than me about the subtle and not so subtle nuances of the young adolescent mind.

Theresa, did you find California's teaching certification program difficult? I've always wondered about it because it's different from most other states, not being a part of the undergrad programs but also not being graduate work either (at least back in the dark ages when I was in school).

 
At 9:58 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

The California credential program didn't seem that difficult to me. I went to a university that had an accelerated program and finished in about a year; it was expensive though. I did manage to get straight A's and pass all the tests the first time (she adds modestly) so I felt like a big shot.

The mistake I made was wanting my own classroom before my credential was finished and I taught at a private school (a full credential is not required at private schools) and I hated it. I'll never put my kids in private school after that experience. I was so turned off that I quit teaching to stay home with my daughter and I haven't decided if I'm going back or not.

I feel like I'm in a career limbo right now-- here's hoping I can write something worth reading.

 
At 10:05 PM, Blogger Nalini Singh said...

Aw gosh, Jamie, you made me blush ;) Thanks for liking my name.

I actually teach at both junior high and elementary (in Japan). Elementary wears me out! Talk about energy.

 
At 10:08 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Regarding middle schoolers. I never had major problems with the kids, but they are so wiggly and hormonal at that age and subs are fresh meat.

What always struck me funny was that they think we're so old and out of touch.

I was subbing an English class and the assignment was about the Trojan war. So one kid comes up to the board and start writing on it. I've had kids ask if they can write down something for an assembly and such before, so I give him the benefit of the doubt and let him continue, though I'm watching right? Anyway, he proceeds to write down "How many of you think Odysseus was a Trojan man?"

It's kind of funny, but I can't really leave it on the board and still have any respect. So I roll my eyes and erase it. The kid looks at me all inocence and says "what?" like he didn't mean anything by it. I looked at him and said "I'm not that old thank you very much."

Ah, 8th graders.

 
At 10:10 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Nalini, I went to school in Japan. Where abouts do you live?

 
At 10:46 PM, Blogger Nalini Singh said...

I'm in Kyushu, Theresa, land of rice fields and country folk. (I love it). :)

 
At 10:57 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Hey Nalini, I had no idea you were teaching there. How cool! Have you read the Tales of the Otori Trilogy by Lian Hearn? It's set in a fictional version of feudal Japan (Theresa you would like it too i bet), and it's an epic sort of martial arts romance with lots of Christian overtones and violence and passion and stuff. Being a lover of Japanese culture, I found it endlessly fascinating, and it was really one of the best trilogies I've ever read. I listened to the unabridged audio and the readers were amazingly good and probably added a lot to my enjoyment of it.

 
At 11:18 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Sounds lovely Nalini. I went to school in Osaka, not a lot of rice fields, just small patties wedged between homes.

I also went to Hiroshima and Miajima Island, which I loved. A lot of my friends chose to stay and teach, but I missed home so I came back. It was one of the best experiences of my life though.

 
At 11:57 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, too funny about the trojan man thing! I think at that age they are just too dumb to realize they're not being subtle, LOL.

 
At 10:32 AM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I think at that age they are just too dumb to realize they're not being subtle, LOL.

Yeah, subtlety is not the strong suit of 13 year olds.

I've got more stories from subbing Jr. High than any other age, and from what I hear, I got off easy!

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

Bethany is the queen of funny middle school stories, so maybe she will chime in with something, but I think she's back to teaching and insanely busy again.

 
At 11:52 AM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Bethany is the queen of funny middle school stories, so maybe she will chime in with something, but I think she's back to teaching and insanely busy again.

I can imagine the anecdotes one gets from teaching that age full time. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

 
At 1:47 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

OK here goes. . .Today one of my students was wearing one glove for some reason. I told him to put his old lady gardening glove away (homeroom) later in my class he had it on again so I said I told you to take that glove off, and he said well you should take your shirt off. Of course the whole class erupted into woo hoos and he was going no, I didn't mean, no no. that was just today

 
At 1:49 PM, Anonymous teacher of the year said...

Then there is the kid who sits at my desk. I sit on one side, he sits on the other. Sometimes he asks me to move my stuff because he doesn't have enough room. I forgot where his assigned seat was SUPPOSED to be. The only way I can get rid of him is to have the class do a group project, and even then he goes and talks to his group and comes back to my desk to sit.

 
At 2:37 PM, Anonymous bethany the lone poster said...

Rereading to see what things I am the queen of. Fantasy stories and teaching stories? But without a tiara?

Theresa- I am a huge fantasy fan, picking up the new Geroge R. R. Martin to read over Christmas break. As far as writing it, I have had no particular success. I wrote one complete fantasy story (complete because I threw an ending on it when inspiration died) I sent it out right before my son was born because I was afraid I would never be able to write again. Anyway my rejection letter said that I had "exemplerary world building" I have no desire to go back and work on it, but I can tell you what I did to "world build" though I would never have called it that, if you want. I don't plan to go back to fantasy for a long time, if ever. Even though it is my greatest love as far as reading, I can't write it right now.

 
At 3:04 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

So the rejection letter said "excellent world building," but then what? I'm wondering what to expect here. Do the rejection letters tell you what to do next time? Or give any clue as to get the book you've already written published? See, I fully expect the rejection letter, I just want to know what to do after that.

Oh, and yeah, I could definitely use some ideas on how to be a better "world builder."

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, Rejection letters tend to be form ones that give no comments at all. To get a specific comment, especially a compliment, is a huge thing in the sad world of rejection.

Occasionally we are "lucky" enough to get a rejection that is very detailed, and that's one way you know you're getting close to writing a sellable story. If an overworked editor takes the time to comment in detail, that means they saw something good in your work.

Then there are the rare occasions when a rejection might invite the author to revise based on the editor's suggestion and resubmit for consideration a second time.

Melissa's at that stage right now, and it's a VERY good sign.

Rejection letters are a badge of honor. They suck but they're a part of the process.

 
At 4:40 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Sorry, I should clarify--a revise and resubmit isn't really a rejection letter, per se.

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

I never said you couldn't wear a tiara, Bethany. In fact I know ALL TOO WELL that you are a princess!!! Remember France? Remember Germany? Remember the skanky hotels you were too good to sleep in? LOL!

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Those were funny stories about the classroom. I am trying to imagine this kid who sits at your desk. Do you still have kids sitting on the floor?

 
At 4:53 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

No kids on the floor. We hired two more teachers for the overflow. Two weeks and we get into the new school, this week I've spent more money than in eight years of teaching (not my own money) it was great.

I have one more really funny story from this year. For some reason my kids have decided I am gothic. Even though I never wear black. They sneak and put up signs around my classroom that say gothic people need love too. And gothics welcome. They made me a floor mat, well they said it was a rug, but it was made out of paper. They wrote me a principal's report for being gothic. It goes on and on.

 
At 4:56 PM, Anonymous gothic teacher girl said...

I knew that particular manuscript wasn't good enough, so I was pleased to get a personal rejection. I'm just considering that story a learning tool right now. Also I picked that publisher (a major one) because they took email submissions, not a real great research process!

 
At 7:09 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Also I picked that publisher (a major one) because they took email submissions, not a real great research process!

Are you kidding, they sound perfect!

 
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