#navbar-iframe { display: none !important;} The Naked Page: The Depths of Human Ingenuity

The Naked Page

Author Jamie Sobrato's Diary

2.12.2006

The Depths of Human Ingenuity

In the grand tradition of discussing dildos on this blog, I give you a look at what is certainly a most perplexing device. But wait! Before you click on that link, let me say that it contains possibly offensive material, namely some X-rated illustrations of ways one might, ahem, use the Jack Hammer Johnson.

If you are a little squeamish, or just do not wish to have the URL for a sex toy store appearing in your internet browser's history, I will describe the thing as best I can. It's like a dildo on a pogo stick, sort of. Now, you're going to click the link, aren't you? Go ahead. It's worth possible future embarrassment. It's that funny.

I personally would not attempt to use such a device. I'm pretty sure I'd injure myself somehow.

75 Comments:

At 8:59 PM, Anonymous melissa said...

I've just come away from three chapters of revisions to find this waiting for me. What a way to end the night!

The real question is, what were you looking for when you came across such a page? A little Valentine's Day inspiration? ;-)

This thing crosses the line into an entirely new Land of Kink. I'm going to send it (the link, thank you, not the device) to everyone I know with a sense of humor as messed up as mine.

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

I cannot claim to have an interesting enough life to have been looking for the Jack Hammer Johnson as a Valentine's Day gift or even inspiration. I was just looking for a blog topic, sadly.

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Alison Kent said...

That is actually quite frightening! Can you imagine the looks you'd get in the ER having to explain how you hurt yourself???

 
At 9:26 AM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I had to click on the testimonials. Who are these people? Someone even indicated that it would be good for someone with limited mobility. Kind of a handicaped person's sex toy I guess. Though I can't imagine how a dildo on a pogo stick would be easier for someone with limited mobility.

I'm still shaking my head. I'd love to send this to my husband at work as a joke, but I'm afraid he'd get fired.

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

LOL. You guys are killing me. Alison, I'm thinking there has to be some way we could work this into a Blaze novel. Maybe the hero is the doctor in the ER listening to the bizarre explanation from the injured party with the strange pogo stick.

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, I missed the testimonials. Must go back and read them now. I guess I was too busy puzzling over the illustrations to notice anything else on the page.

Maybe you could send the link to your husband's home email, so he doesn't lose his job but still gets to enjoy the Jack Hammer Johnson (I really just like saying Jack Hammer Johnson).

 
At 9:50 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

Okay, I went back to read the testimonials. And I noticed the illustration on the bottom left. One guy, two women, and two Jack Hammer Johnsons. This is a very confusing image. I mean, I can imagine what he COULD be doing with the devices, but in the illustration it looks like he's attempting to use them as ski poles or something to maneuver between the two women. Am I missing something?

 
At 9:56 AM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Wait, you have a man in the picture, two women and two Jack Hammer Johnson's? But that would mean there would be three Johnsons and two women? I don't even want to think about where the third one goes.........

Why would a man want to be in the same room with the thing anyway? Don't answer that.

This is too perverted for me and my pedestrian self.

 
At 10:16 AM, Anonymous melissa said...

I did send it to my hubby's home email and he got a kick out of it. Says we must read the manual. I'm afraid to look.

 
At 10:35 AM, Anonymous Cindy said...

Oh, my God, a vibrator for the truly lazy. I'd definitely be visiting the chiropractor following use!

I think this "device" goes beyond kinky into "just plain weird."

Cindy

 
At 12:01 PM, Blogger SavvyChick said...

I had to read the users manual because I just didn't understand the mechanics of it. I mean, was it truly spring loaded? How would one activate the spring mechanism? Surely one didn't jump up and down on it like a pogo stick. lol. I am still a bit hazy on the dynamics but its reassuring to note that this is FOR ADULTS ONLY and not a toy for children as the manual reiterates several times. Even warning the user not to use this ADULT TOY with children in the room. Ugh, the fact that they felt the need to add this little disclaimer is almost as alarming as the TOY itself, lol.

 
At 12:22 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Wow Jamie, all you have to do is put up a topic about sex toys and voila! Blog traffic.

Considering I am as fascinated by the topic as everyone else, I don't have any room to criticize. I'm just sayin'...........

 
At 9:28 PM, Blogger Patrice Michelle said...

LOL Jamie! Jack Hammer Johnson...the title is cracking me up! Thanks for your comments on my website design. I came up with the overall look and design and Bekke of DreamForge Media made it flow well together. She's fantastic!

 
At 8:31 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

Okay, savvychick, since you are all savvy on the use of the thing, please fill us in. DOES one jump up and down on it like it's a pogo stick. The illustrations don't include that option, but... I'm afraid to read the user manual. Well, actually, there is a demonstrational video on the site. Maybe I should go watch it just for educational purposes.

 
At 8:32 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, the readers of the Naked Page are indeed a predictable group. Sex is the number one "hot button" topic. LOL. Undergarments and men are tied for second place.

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

Hey Patrice, I keep thinking I should name a secondary character in one of my books Jack "The Hammer" Johnson. A pro wrestler turned porn star maybe?

 
At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Theresa said...

Hey Patrice, I keep thinking I should name a secondary character in one of my books Jack "The Hammer" Johnson. A pro wrestler turned porn star maybe?

Lol. I'd love to read that one.

 
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