Of Blogs and Men
You thought I'd OD'd on Valentine's Day candy, didn't you? The last thing you hear from me is a post about chocolate and sex, and you really let your mind run wild, didn't you?
Well the truth isn't nearly so fun as that. Sorry to disappoint. I'm just busy with stuff. Lots of stuff. And am slacking on my blog. But I would never let my blog become one of those sad places that hasn't been updated since back when everyone was announcing "green is the new black." (By the way, in case you haven't heard, orange is the new green.)
So in grand Naked Page fashion, I suggest that what we need here is a good discussion about one of our favorite hot button topics. Like men. So tell me, if you had to choose three stars to be your cook (that says cook, not cock!), your maid, and your personal (ahem) assistant, which three would you choose and why? Also, what would their uniforms look like?
(I know, this topic probably sounds all sexist and stuff. But really, it's all in good fun! You don't even have to choose men if you don't want to. You could choose Hollywood starlets or Hollywood dog stars or whatever!)
posted by Jamie Sobrato @ 8:32 AM
12 Comments:
Hmmm, my cook? I dunno. Any one of them is probably a better cook than moi. So I want a professional cook, but I don't know any!
My maid? Ummm...
I'm not doing very well on this topic, am I? It's not my fault; my mind is going blank.
My personal (ahem) assistant? I would have to say George Clooney. Why? Because he's only a year or so younger than me, but looks older b/c of all that grey hair, LOL, which I could mock him about seeing as I don't have to dye mine yet, plus, I couldn't be accused of robbing the cradle; and I read somewhere years ago that he needed a new batsuit made b/c the one the previous batmans wore had too small of a codpiece (yowza!); and because he seems to have a great sense of humour, which is a necessity for me.
Okay, thinking of George Clooney reminded me of the guy who plays Luca on ER. Goran Something? He can be my maid, and he ain't allowed to wear no uniform! My maid cleans in the buff, but only when fully aroused... I don't want to see anything limp hanging there, you know.
Now, the cook. Ack, I can't choose, because I really want to make sure these guys can cook first!!!
No way am I signing my name to this one. Unfortunately, Jamie can probably unmask me...
Can Jude Law be my nanny? Can he come over right away, I think somebody needs a diaper change!
I meant one of my stinky babies, not like anything weird. The irony was that he would be taking care of babies, not like the duties he apparently was involved in with his nanny. Is it irony when you have to explain yourself? Do nannies change cat litter? I'm still considering my personal assistant probably Jon Stewart.
Ingo Rademacher "Jax" from General Hospital as cook wearing a pair of tight low cut jeans and an unbuttoned shirt - yummy
Orlando Bloom for personal assistant in tight black tshirt and jeans
Johnny Depp as maid in a black shirt hand unbuttoned, jeans and boots
I don't really care what duties they perform, but I'll take a nice triple-decker sandwich of Usher, Drew from Dancing with the Stars, and the Dusty guy from As the World Turns. (I don't watch soaps, but my mom does and sometimes I have to peek at the TV just to look at him. lol)
Apparently I'm not into big-name movie stars. They're either too old or too stuck-up for my taste. Or they believe we were created by aliens and other such logical things...
You know, come to think of it, Drew's wife is mega-pregnant too, so I'll keep my hands off. But looking (staring) is completely legal.
Hey, I love that Dusty guy! I iron to that soap a couple times a week, so I know just who you mean. Okay, he's my new maid. He's on when Goran is off.
I decided I want Brad Whitford from West Wing as my cook - provided he *can* cook. He comes across halfway intelligent on the show (or at least he can feign it really well), and I like to talk to people while they're cooking. I also like the way he walks. He's allowed to be clothed.
Gosh Cindy--er, I mean, SOMEONE--you sure have given this subject a lot of thought.
Drew from Dancing with the Stars? Isn't he the short guy? I keep wanting to grab him and stretch him out a bit. He looks so small on stage. Especially in comparison to the Amazon Miss America wrestler chick.
Is Anonymous really Bethany's husband Lee?
Kidding, kidding!
Bethany, introducing smelly diapers as a subject on the Naked Page is just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
But I agree, Jude Law should have to be someone's nanny for a while. And he might as well be yours.
Lee would be very offended if he saw that. He would probably prefer Johnny Depp to wear scissors for hands and some normal completely buttoned and fastened clothing if, Johnny Depp was his personal assistant.
Jamie,
I just dropped by your blog after a dignified time away and must say that I'm mortally offended that you would think I'm Someone!
I'm Nobody, as you well know. Hmph.
Cindy
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