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The Naked Page

Author Jamie Sobrato's Diary

3.08.2006

Have Dildo, Will Travel

And now we return to our regularly titillating programming.

I lived in Germany for 5 years, traveled around quite a bit there, and always found it endlessly amusing that sex shops can be found in pretty much every airport in Europe. I mean, when you think about what you will need on any given trip, isn't a nice big turbo-powered vibrator the first thing that pops into your mind?

Yes? (Sex hound!)

No? (Me either. I mean, imagine the airport security questions... "No, really, it's a back massager!" Not that one should be ashamed of one's need for battery powered stimulation, but still, I'd just rather not have that conversation with a security guy sorting through my undies.)

Better yet, imagine sex toy shops in every American airport. Imagine the fun protests that would slow travel. If we can get riled up as a nation of a nipple revealed for a split second on TV, then imagine what we could do over a XXX Boutique right next to the Cinnabon and the Burger King.

I don't actually have a point here. That's the fun thing about having my own blog. I don't need to make any sense. No one is paying me to write this crap.

Speaking of travel, I am getting ready for a weekend trip and just got out my new iPod Nano and have been trying to load audiobooks on it. Imagine my confusion. The damn thing doesn't have an on-off button. It doesn't have any buttons at all. I think I'm just supposed to stare really hard at it and it will figure out what I want it to do. Well, that hasn't actually worked yet, but neither has cursing and throwing it down.

Here are the audiobooks I have loaded: A Fine Balance (I know, I know, I'm years behind in my reading), The Kite Runner, and Never Let Me Go by, um...that author who wrote Remains of the Day.

But there will be no dildos in my suitcase. Not even a "back massager." Just me, my iPod (which I will try not to throw out the window), and the open road.

27 Comments:

At 7:44 PM, Anonymous Cindy Procter-King said...

I hope you enjoy A Fine Balance, Jamie. I enjoyed the book, but not as much as I thought I would, based on a friend's recommendation (I think she even bought me the book).

I STILL haven't finished the latest John Irving. It's good, better than THE FOURTH HAND, but I loved A WIDOW FOR ONE YEAR so much that nothing else afterward has measured up (so far). Could Irving be slipping? Did moving to Canada lose him some brain cells? Have *I* lost all my brain cells and therefore can no longer enjoy literary novels? Will I be reduced to reading and re-reading "memoirs," and loving them to death?

These and countless other questions will NEVER be answered as long as Cindy's stomach churns.

 
At 7:40 AM, Blogger Tim said...

Ishiguro Kazuo is the author you're looking for. :D

 
At 2:16 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Cinnabon? They have cinnabons at airports? We had one at the mall, but it closed. Forget the XXX store, I'm heading to Cinnabon!

There is a XXX store not too far from here and this religious group maintains a camera so they can video tape who goes into the place.

Amusingly (is that a word? it is in my world) there is a strip bar right next door to our board of education. I had to go to a meeting there and all I could see was the flashing girls girls sign out the window. Made it hard to figure out what I could do to improve student test scores, or whatever the hell that meeting was about.

 
At 2:46 PM, Anonymous Theresa said...

this religious group maintains a camera so they can video tape who goes into the place.

That's hilarious. Did you hear about the case in Utah against a XXX video store. They were being used on profanity charges (I think). Anyway the town was all up in arms claiming they were a pious community blah blah blah. Well, about halfway into the trial it came out that people in this little Utah town were subscribing to pay per view porn at about 3x's the rate of the rest of the U.S. Needless to say, the case went away.

Oh, and Jamie, I went to Border's yesterday and they were sold out of your book! I was also talking to the lady at the grocery store and she said they sold tons of the harlequin romances.

 
At 9:27 PM, Anonymous Cindy Procter-King said...

Theresa, you should see if you can find it on-line somewhere. I only read two or three chapters of it for critique, I'm now 2/3rds of the way through the published book and I think it's one of Jamie's best. Way to go, Jamie!

Cindy

 
At 10:02 AM, Anonymous Theresa said...

I already have the book Cindy. I was just noting that they had sold out all their copies pretty quick, which seems like good news for Jamie.

 
At 8:43 AM, Anonymous Cindy Procter-King said...

I finished it this a.m., Theresa, and I still think it's one of her best. A great read.

Cindy

 
At 1:43 PM, Blogger Tim said...

I finished it the other day, and wholeheartedly agree with Cindy. :D

 
At 3:00 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Cindy, the reviewers agree with you about Irving's latest. I will probably skip it. I will just re-read A Widow for One Year next time I need my fix.

And thank you for the compliments on Seduction. There are certain reasons the book resonates with me, that I am never sure if come across to the reader, so I'm glad to hear someone got it.

 
At 3:05 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Oh and I forgot to say, so far I am only mildly into A Fine Balance. It's the kind of book I am not riveted by but find pleasant enough to keep listening to.

I recently finished listening to The Life of Pi and found the two parts--before the sea trip and after--so bizarrely disjointed I never could figure out what to make of it. If anyone has read it, please tell me what you think the purpose of having him be so devoutly religious in the early part of the story was. So much emphasis was put on that, and then almost nothing about it for the rest of the book.

 
At 3:07 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Thank you Tim, for the author name AND the compliments!

 
At 3:30 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Bethany, I can't guarantee I've seen Cinnabon at an airport, but it seems like the kind of place I've trudged past on my way to my next connection at some point or another. Or maybe I'm just confusing the airport with the mall. Easy to do, you know.

Hey is that strip club the one that's in the big Dutch-barn-looking building? I remember when that place was a countrified restaurant, Knickerson Farm or something, and I went there as a little kid. Country fried restaurant, titty bar, same difference, right?

 
At 3:32 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Theresa, thank you for looking for my book. I would love to take all the credit for it being sold out, but it could just be that all the Blazes had already been removed from the shelves to make room for the "second-cycle" (released mid-month) Harlequin books. Am I an optimist or what? :-)

 
At 3:54 PM, Anonymous Sherry said...

Sorry, the one and only Bullitt County strip has been closed. The City bought the property for 1 million dollars, and the next day the signs were gone. This just happened last week. I recall seeing a Cinnabon in one of the airports as well.

 
At 5:09 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

Well, I don't have to travel to all the airports in the US looking for Cinnabon, I just looked them up and theres one at the Mall St. Mathews (where I never go, but maybe. . . .)

Sherry- did the one on Cedar Grove road (Strip club) close down, too? I'm not up on my non-Mt Washington Bullitt Co news.

Yes, Jamie, it was located in that derelict barn looking building where my parents took me as a child and told me not to even look at the gift shop because all the gifts were too expensive! They also had beehives. Um, the kind that made honey, not the hairdo's

 
At 3:57 AM, Anonymous Sherry said...

Bethany, Shane's has been gone quite some time now. Gobel's Girls Girls was the last "house of sin" in podunkville - LOL.

 
At 3:59 AM, Anonymous Sherry said...

Jamie - I have Seduction, and should be starting on it this weekend. From the comments here, I am excited about it.

 
At 9:01 AM, Anonymous Theresa said...

. I would love to take all the credit for it being sold out, but it could just be that all the Blazes had already been removed from the shelves to make room for the "second-cycle" (released mid-month) Harlequin books. Am I an optimist or what? :-)


I don't think that's the case. I've noticed my local Border's has a separate section for the Harlequin books and they tend to keep all availiable copies out on the shelves. I think you're going to have to accept the fact that the book is a success! ;)

 
At 7:22 PM, Blogger Tim said...

Harlequin's THAT BIG that they release full-scale TWICE a month?! =-O Ummm... wow. =-O

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger jamiesobrato said...

Okay Theresa, if the book is indeed a success, I will have to blame it all on the cover art! :-P

 
At 12:49 PM, Blogger jamiesobrato said...

Tim, Yes, between Harlequin and its sister company Silhouette, they do have about half their books coming out at the start of the month and the other half released mid-month. Some stores stock all the books all the time, while others only stock the first of the month releases for two weeks, then remove them to make room for the midmonth releases.

 
At 10:39 AM, Blogger Jordan Summers said...

Europeans aren't uptight about sex or nudity for that matter. It's always weird when I've been overseas for a while and then come back to the states. I go into culture shock. *ggg*

 
At 10:15 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

Jordan, there are so many ways I experienced culture shock when returning to the US. For me driving here again was the biggest adjustment, but the whole anti-nudity thing was a bit of a shock too. I kept forgetting that some people would get offended if I breastfed my kids in public and didnt't cover up, LOL.

 
At 9:17 PM, Blogger Andreya said...

Hi Nice Blog .If you fast forward through your play list, ipod battery will need to fill its cache more frequently, thus accessing the hard drive more often and using more power. This will decrease overall battery life.

 
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