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The Naked Page

Author Jamie Sobrato's Diary


Body Art Gone Bad

So I'm like in revision mode now, which isn't nearly as fun as "I have nothing urgent to do" mode. My editor called me the other day with revisions for the witch book I just finished, and she said that some of my scenes don't have enough "up and down motion." And I'm like, okay, okay, fine, I'll add more sex. Except she wasn't talking about sex. I need to add more of that too, but she was talking about something else--something about needing my characters to actually have goals and do stuff or, you know, not be so boring.

Also, she needed me to find a tattoo image online for the cover of the book, because the heroine has a tattoo on the back of her neck, and that is going to be the cover image. So I spent a couple of days getting all glassy-eyed while staring at photos of people's hairy tattooed shoulders, legs, and various other body parts (ahem), in search of the right image. There are a lot of BAAAAAAD tattoos out there in the world, lemme tell ya.

But this renewed my interest in a tattoo for myself. And then I thought, hey, this is sounding like blog topic material, since my main criteria for blog topics seems to be that the subject be utterly devoid of value or meaning. So now I'm thinking of getting a tattoo on the back of my neck, like my heroine has. But what...I don't know.

Here's the question: what's the worst tattoo you've ever seen?

I had a hair stylist once who had a tattoo of an extremely large-breasted naked woman on his underarm. This disturbed me, and it gets my vote for worst tattoo...though gosh, there are so many to choose from, it's hard to narrow it down.


At 11:03 AM, Anonymous Cindy Procter-King said...

I think you should get a 666 tattoo for the back of your neck, because, when people discover it, like when you accidentally lift you hair up or something so they WILL discover it, they'll get totally freaked out.

And then, when they're torturing you for being a spawn of Satan, you can explain, "No, no! I asked for Sex, Sex, Sex, on the back of my neck, but the tattoo artist was dyslexic."

If your persectors buy the story (you can't see the back of your neck when you're getting a tattoo, after all, so you had to trust the tattoo artist), your torture ends and you can go back to writing the Blazes. And someday you'll have a great story to tell your grandkids.


At 1:44 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

One of my cousins (not one you know, Jamie) has an enormous Jesus tatoo. On the cross. I have nothing against Jesus, I like Jesus, but I do not like my cousin't Jesus tattoo. What if he gets a wart, or a pimple and it's on Jesus? or he gets all old and scraggly and Jesus looks stretched or wrinkiled, or weird hairs grow out of Jesus?

At 2:04 PM, Anonymous melissa said...

I know a guy (who happens to be a hair stylist too, and he's straight, but don't ask me how I know that because I've blocked it from my mind) whose goal in life is to tattoo himself from head to toe. Every single inch of skin. Scary. He's almost there, too, except for his face. The individual graphics are actually pretty cool, but the idea of him being an old man still covered from head to toe is just wrong. Supposedly he's got a massive squid going across his chest and around his back, but I haven't (I swear!) seen that. Sounds to me like a good contender for worst tattoo, though. lol

At 3:33 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

O-kaaaaay Cindy...interesting idea. Ahem. Er, um, yeah... Actually a neck tattoo would be visible on me most of the time because I wear my hair pulled up or in a pony tail a lot. So I would likely get lynched right away if I wasn't careful.

At 3:37 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Bethany, where is Jesus located on your cousin? My mind is running amok (as usual).

The hair or wart on Jesus issue is indeed a dilemma...WWJD? we have to wonder.

At 3:38 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Melissa, that's pretty bizarre. I hope he's not planning to get his face tattooed.

At 4:36 PM, Anonymous bethany said...

It's like on his arm, but it takes up the entire arm. And also it doesn't look like a good quality tatoo. Like sometimes people have tattoos and even if they're ugly you can tell it was expensive- well this one looks kinda cheap and shoddy.

At 11:26 PM, Blogger Tim said...

Probably the worst "tattoo" i've ever seen or heard of are those bodysuit type tatt's. As for other tatt's, it depends. If it's done well, just about anything can look good, though I may not like it. If it's done bad, it doesn't matter WHAT it's about, it's still hideous.

Also, thanks for the update on the witch book, jamie. :-) I needed a kick like that for my NaNoWriMo story. It made me think that same question: What are they DOING? Where are they GOING in life? (Aside from to each other!) And by the way... 14th day, and i'm heading for 28,000 words! :-D (A person becomes a NaNoWriMo "winner" at 50,000.)

At 11:28 PM, Blogger Tim said...

And by the way, I'm still considering getting a tatt, though what and where is still TBD. :-D

At 10:47 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

On his arm? So Jesus has to bend when he bends his arm? Weird.

At 10:54 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

I'm glad my tip helped, Tim. Maybe I'll do a whole blog post on the subject.


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