#navbar-iframe { display: none !important;} The Naked Page: January 2006

The Naked Page

Author Jamie Sobrato's Diary

1.28.2006

At One With the White Space

Should I change the name of this blog from The Naked Page to The Boring Page?

Is everyone as stressed out as I am? Or are you all glued to your televisions watching the new season of American Idol? Do you have a favorite yet? (And could all the staged stuff on that show get any more cheesy? What percentage of the bad singers showed up just to make it on TV as part of the "worst of" clips?)

And perhaps most importantly, will I ever stop asking annoying questions and provide some actual content for this blog?

Ummmm... No.

Providing useful content would require expenditure of brain power, of which I have none at this point.

Do you see a trend in the paragraphing above?

Notice how I'm making each paragraph, like, one sentence long, then inserting a space? This is what I do when deadlines loom (3 more nights and counting) and I have many pages left to write.

I embrace white space.

White space is not only kind to me, it is kind to readers.

It is restful on their eyes.

See what I mean? Don't your eyes want to fall asleep already? (Oh, wait, that's my boring content, isn' t it?)

Ummm... Since I can't afford to use up any brain power, tell me what your favorite prime time TV show is this season.

Mine's American Idol, of course. Why? Currently, I'm enjoying watching Randy's various buggy-eyed looks and distressed noises when he doesn't know what to say. He's being more entertaining than usual.

1.22.2006

Phantom of the Blog

I have a book deadline January 31st, so I am in the final throes of deadline hell, hence my rather phantom-like blog activity, here one day, gone the next.

But on a completely unrelated note, the title for this entry makes me think of Phantom of the Opera (duh!) and I have to ask, am I the only one who was really pissed off that the heroine didn't go live in the basement with the phantom at the end?

Anyway, I know my whining about Phantom of the Opera isn't the most interesting topic in the world, but it does make me think about story endings. There are the expected endings, the unexpected endings, and the in-between ones. What makes a disappointing story ending, and what makes a satisfying one?

In the romance genre, there is only one acceptable story ending--happily ever after. But as the genre evolves, that boundary can be pushed a bit, and in my own stories I find myself moving more toward just the promise of a happy ending rather than a very concrete one. I think that's only a natural evolution as we live in a post-modern world with a post-modern sense of happiness.

And if that's all too boring, tell me what you're working on now. Or send me some motivational thoughts as I bust my ass for the next week.

1.17.2006

When the Vibrator Speaks

I was just reading about the latest technological developments in, um, personal pleasure devices. Someone actually manufactures a vibrator that has a little camera attached to it. I just don't know what to say about that other than...huh. Or maybe, "huh?"

There's also one that allows you to record a voice on the vibrator to be played back...when? Right at the most opportune moment, I suppose? Like, you've just about reached climax, and you hit the little playback button with the voice of your lover saying...what? I suppose I'm lacking in imagination, because I just can't think what I'd want a vibrator to say to me.

I'm sure the girls at The Naked Page can come up with some good suggestions though. So spill it. What would your recordable vibrator say to you?

1.10.2006

A Reputation to Uphold

So I've killed the blog with my octopus testicles story? I'm feeling the pressure now. I have a reputation for lewdness to uphold, and I've gone and bored everyone to sleep with my little octopus anecdote.

Okay, so what does it take to wake up the girls on The Naked Page? Conversations about men, sex, and panties seem to be the big winners here. Or really, anything controversial, like Brad Pitt dumping Jen.

I was just thinking about the whole Angelina Jolie thing and how some writer friends of mine said they'd rather sleep with her than Brad. I thought that was pretty open-minded of them, and after I thought about it for a while I realized I'd have to agree.

So. This begs the question, if you were a lesbian, or just wanted to experiment a bit, who would you want to sleep with? (And no, you don't have to pick a lesbian star...unless you want to.)

My answer? Hmm... I've always had a thing for Selma Hayek. Though, um, since she played Frida Kahlo, I have to admit the unibrow kind of killed my lust a bit (note to starlets: if you're going to do a quality role, you still have to say NO to the unibrow).

Another option would be the red-headed chick on That Seventies Show, Laura Prepon. I was horrified to see that she dyed her hair blond, but in her natural color she's pretty hot. You know, for a girl.

1.09.2006

I'll Take Testicles On My Octopus

Although this isn't nearly as good a story as the tale of the six-inch sirloin, this blog is just about the only place I can tell a "testicle" anecdote with a straight face.

We were at a restaurant recently and my son wanted a dish with octopus in it, and he wanted to make sure they had tentacles on them. Of course. What's an octopus without tentacles, right? If only all foods could have tentacles!

So we were questioning the waitress about the dish that contained octopus, and she informed us that, "Yes, I think they do still have the testicles on them."

English was not her first language.

I laughed. "Did you just say testicles?" I asked, and my mother-in-law, who'd been puzzling over what didn't sound quite right about the waitress's statement, burst out laughing. The waitress blushed and stammered something about how she was afraid she'd been saying testicles all along.

"Tentacles," I informed her, thoroughly pleased with myself for catching the slip-up. "They're called tentacles."

But can anything top the six-inch sirloin story? What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever said?

1.06.2006

In the Pink

What can I say? I love color. Subliminally, pink and red suggest all sorts of fun, feminine and not-so-proper things. And so I'm back to pink and red. The black and white were good while they lasted, but The Naked Page needs to be in the pink. It's only appropriate.

For those of you who've been avoiding emailing me out of respect for my looming deadline, you should know that the deadline has been extended to the end of the month by my gracious and goddess-like editor. I now worship at an altar with her image on it. And you don't have to keep avoiding me. I'm sane again. Sort of.

I have been suffering from tension headaches lately, writing a lot, and have nothing interesting to suggest we discuss. So what's on everyone's mind? What do you want to talk about? Suggest away. I'm all out of ideas.

1.04.2006

Cover Art Orgasm

If you've been hanging out here for long, you probably already know how I feel about the cover art on my last two books. So you will have a deeper insight into the nearly orgasmic reaction I have when the cover is good. I'm QUITE pleased with the art I just found on Amazon for my upcoming March book, ONCE UPON A SEDUCTION (yeah, weird, I know, that Amazon got my cover before I did):

This is the first non-people cover I've gotten, and the red bra is a major part of the story, so I'm thrilled it's on the cover. It's a funny element, not a sexy one, by the way. That's why she's stepping on it.

I'm surprised that the Blaze logo at the top has not changed. I saw an updated version of the logo that looks a little smaller and cuter that I thought was going to be used starting this year, but who knows now.

Also, note the "chick lit flash." That is a new sub-line for Blaze, which indicates books written in a younger, hipper voice....or something like that. It's the first time I've been fit into one of Harlequin's marketing niches, other than the broader category of sensual romance.

So what do you think of the cover? Harlequin's marketing niches? Do you have a preference as far as covers with people on them versus no people? I think the vast majority of people prefer non-people covers, but it's interesting, as the author, to see what the artist comes up with, regardless of whether there are people or not. As long as the cover looks good, I'm happy. But I'm LOVING the red bra and silver (or are they white?) heels.

1.03.2006

New Year's Revolution

It's a revolution here at The Naked Page. Out with the red, pink and orange--in with the black. Well, for now. Actually I'm going to redesign my whole website soon and was just getting sick of looking at that screwed up little white gap that used to be to the right of the header on this page. It was starting to make my eye tick, so I decided to just play around with my blog colors until I settle on a look I dig for the new site.

Although, honestly, it will still probably end up being...red, pink, and orange. What can I say? Those are my colors.

But let's get back to this whole New Year's Revolution thing.

Resolutions never work. You know that, right? You didn't just make a list, did you, including things like:

1. write 10 pages a day
2. exercise 5 days a week
3. stop eating Snickers bars for breakfast
4. be nicer

Please tell me you didn't do that.

The only way resolutions work is if you pick something easy and painless that can be done in a short time like, "Catch up on the sixth season of Sex and the City DVDs by next Monday." But you were going to do stuff like that anyway, so you don't have to make it an item on a to-do list, do you?

Maybe when we're thinking about what we want to accomplish in the new year, we should think of fun things instead of torturous ones. Maybe we should start a revolution, decide that life is not about forcing ourselves to do things that bring us no joy, but instead is about finding the things we cannot live without and pursuing them wholeheartedly.

So who's enlisting for the revolution?