#navbar-iframe { display: none !important;} The Naked Page: February 2006

The Naked Page

Author Jamie Sobrato's Diary


Ask the Romance Writer Girl

Here's the big chance you've been waiting for--the chance to ask me any question you want. Dirty, dirty questions...oh, sorry, (ahem) wrong blog. Anyway, writing questions, non-writing questions, questions about panty preferences, etc.

Okay, so we've already covered every topic imaginable. That's the problem. I need you people to tell me what you want to know. Ask the romance writer girl. She will answer.


So You Think You Can Write

The big gigantic secret no one ever speaks of in the publishing industry is that very few manuscripts submitted to publishers are actually publishable. We like to believe that all our brilliant tomes clamoring for the attention of editors are so top-notch, editors must agonize over which books to buy, torn between a vast array of great stories.

Ask any editor when was the last time they had too many good manuscripts to choose from. They will probably roll their eyes or laugh maniacally.

The truth, plain and simple, is it's so hard to sell a book because it's so hard to write a sellable one. Add on top of that the task of getting your sellable book in front of an editor or agent whose taste it meshes with, and you have a recipe for how to become an alcoholic.

So why persist? Because it's the persistent ones who sell. Most people look at the odds against selling a book and don't even try. Some people try for a while, can't stand the constant rejection, and then give up. And then there are the weathered few. The ones with the dark circles under their eyes, the file full of rejection letters, and the emergency stash of hard liquor tucked behind the rejection file.

It's almost inevitable that if you keep writing, your writing will improve. If you keep improving, your writing will become sellable. And if you keep submitting, you will eventually find the editor who loves your work enough to buy it.


Of Blogs and Men

You thought I'd OD'd on Valentine's Day candy, didn't you? The last thing you hear from me is a post about chocolate and sex, and you really let your mind run wild, didn't you?

Well the truth isn't nearly so fun as that. Sorry to disappoint. I'm just busy with stuff. Lots of stuff. And am slacking on my blog. But I would never let my blog become one of those sad places that hasn't been updated since back when everyone was announcing "green is the new black." (By the way, in case you haven't heard, orange is the new green.)

So in grand Naked Page fashion, I suggest that what we need here is a good discussion about one of our favorite hot button topics. Like men. So tell me, if you had to choose three stars to be your cook (that says cook, not cock!), your maid, and your personal (ahem) assistant, which three would you choose and why? Also, what would their uniforms look like?

(I know, this topic probably sounds all sexist and stuff. But really, it's all in good fun! You don't even have to choose men if you don't want to. You could choose Hollywood starlets or Hollywood dog stars or whatever!)


Beyond the Hearts and Flowers

How can you not love a holiday that celebrates sex, romance, and chocolate? Valentine's Day covers all the good stuff. (And Cindy, please don't sully my blog with your rant about how dumb and commercialized Valentine's Day is.)

Maybe it is dumb and commercial, but only if you allow it to be. You can pretty much make a case for everything being hopelessly sullied by commericialism if you really want to. But I digress.

I'm supposed to be talking about sex or romance or chocolate or something. Um, right. What do you really find romantic? When you go beyond the heart-shaped box of chocolates and the dozen roses, what do you wish your significant other would do for you as a romantic gesture?

Okay, now spill. We want all the dirty details. And then go tell your partner what to do so they can get a clue and do it (you get bonus points if they already know what you want and have done it for you).

Oh, and don't forget to ask them what they want, if you don't already know, so you can return the favor.


The Depths of Human Ingenuity

In the grand tradition of discussing dildos on this blog, I give you a look at what is certainly a most perplexing device. But wait! Before you click on that link, let me say that it contains possibly offensive material, namely some X-rated illustrations of ways one might, ahem, use the Jack Hammer Johnson.

If you are a little squeamish, or just do not wish to have the URL for a sex toy store appearing in your internet browser's history, I will describe the thing as best I can. It's like a dildo on a pogo stick, sort of. Now, you're going to click the link, aren't you? Go ahead. It's worth possible future embarrassment. It's that funny.

I personally would not attempt to use such a device. I'm pretty sure I'd injure myself somehow.


Once Upon a Seduction

My website has been updated with the back cover copy and an excerpt of my latest Blaze novel, Once Upon a Seduction. Check it out, admire the snazzy cover, and pre-order a copy if you want to support your favorite starving writer.

The book hits store shelves no later than March 1st and starts to disappear by the middle of the month. But don't worry--I will remind you yet again when the release date is here. I am nothing if not a promotional whore.


Seducing the Muse

I finished my book last week, and now I have 500 things to do that were put off thanks to deadline mania. But really, as creative people, we have to think about more than the to-do list when we are balancing our work schedules with our lives. The creative muse is very subtle in her demands, but when neglected, she can be a bitch to win back.

So while I know it's important that I tackle all these tasks waiting to be done, I also know I have to find some time to refill my creative well just by relaxing and having fun, reading books and watching movies and going outside for walks and staring at the sky. Easier said than done. But if I don't make time for the fun stuff, my writing will become stale and dry, or worse, it will stall out--there will be no writing at all.

So, do you make time to seduce your muse regularly? Do you??? Tell the truth. I'll admit I do it less often than I should. I should make time for a little muse seduction every day. And for the next week or so, I will make it a priority to have a little fun and not let the un-fun stuff overwhelm me.

What are your favorite muse seduction techniques? What do you do that really gets you excited about being creative again?


Losing It

I'm having major Blogger problems. I have tried all weekend to post an entry I composed Friday night and Blogger keeps eating it. It also ate responses I posted on the previous entry. I'm not sure what to do about this, but I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still around, and that my blog is freaking out. I think it's possessed. Anyone know how to perform exorcisms?

Let's see if this post works...


Pimp My Website

My website desperately needs a new look. I wish someone would just come along and volunteer to trick it out for me, add hydrolic suspension, paint some flames on the sides, install a minibar...oh wait, that's for my car, not my website.

Okay, okay, so what I want to ask is, when you visit authors' websites, what information do you really find useful? Which parts of the site do you use, and which parts do you think are a waste?

Go to http://www.jamiesobrato.com and tell me what you find useful about it, if you're feeling all helpful and stuff today. Do you think that welcome page is really necessary? I mean, the main one when you get to the website. I'm thinking of making a blog the main page of the site, so in other words, the main page would be something like this page you are on now, only a little more polished looking. Check out http://www.alisonkent.com to see what I mean. Her main page is a blog.

Do you visit FAQ pages? Contest pages? Bio pages? How much information about my books do you really care to see?

Are you embarrassed at all to visit bright red and pink websites? LOL. I'm thinking this is probably more of an issue for people who web-surf at work. I have thought about making the background black, and the the red/orange/pink/whatever secondary colors would be in the details. The text would probably be on a light field, because I don't like light text on dark fields.