A friend passed on an article about a guy in Boston who tried to sue a woman who fractured his penis during an overly enthusiastic round of sex. Curious about how a penis could--God forbid--be fractured, I googled the subject and found myself instantly enlightened.
It's true. Penis fractures happen! They're rare, but they happen, and they are, as you can imagine, extremely painful. The article I found even described a "loud snap" that accompanies the fracture. Yikes!
Apparently, the most common way these fractures occur are when the woman is on top, the penis comes out during intercourse, and the woman comes back down too hard and it gets jammed into her pelvic bone. It can also happen during masturbation...but I'll spare you any more gruesome details.
The question I have though is, why don't more people know about this kind of injury? I'm not usually a fan of conspiracy theories, but here is a case where I might buy into one. I mean, imagine the reaction of the first guys who discovered the penis fracture. Would they really want women to know about this kind of thing, fearing it might become a sort of self-defense technique or means for revenge?
Imagine how much power women could wield if men knew they if they tried anything sleazy--bam, broken penis.
There could be self-defense classes (albeit awkward and possibly hilarious ones) teaching the technique to women. Though I suppose it might be hard to find a man willing to be the instructor.
Imagine, if every woman knew how to fracture a penis, how much birth rates could drop, how many more teens would wait to have sex until they're mature enough to handle the consequences of a fractured penis--imagine how much more self control men might demonstrate.
Just imagine. (Insert surge of John Lennon music here.)
I'm not advocating a world where penis-bashing is the norm. I mean, some of my best friends have been penises.
I'm just sayin'. In a world where women are usually victims, I think there's an opportunity here for us to put the fear of penis fracture into the male gender.